


all i want for christmas is you

by flamecascade



Category: Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Angst, Christmas, Comatose Pekoyama, F/M, Post-Despair, post-sdr2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-25
Updated: 2014-12-25
Packaged: 2018-03-03 12:27:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2850821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flamecascade/pseuds/flamecascade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maybe he just wants to feel like the silence isn’t killing him inside.</p>
            </blockquote>





	all i want for christmas is you

The room is only vaguely familiar. He didn’t get a good look at it the first time, too preoccupied with nausea that threatened to shred his consciousness, and blistering pain behind his right eye.

The Future Foundation allow Kuzuryuu and the rest of the survivors in here infrequently at best; half for their own good, and half because keeping them alive is delicate and they're all petrified at the thought of losing a single one. It all seems infinite, but so, so fragile, fifteen dim pods connected to life support and a glut of machines that do god knows what. Their low hum and buzz is already starting to get on his nerves.

But Kuzuryuu isn't here to listen to that all day. God, no.

Winding around the circle of pods, he can barely bring himself to look to see which ones are empty and which ones are keeping his classmates breathing. He's been here more than enough times to know the order. But still, he feels obligated to take the long way around, running his hand over the capsules' thick glass, a sort of high school reunion. Except not at all, not even close, because high school reunions didn't have most the class in a fucking coma after a murder game at the end of the world, dumbass. He casts the allusion off where it belongs.

He starts with Koizumi, and as soon as his hand rests on the pod's surface he stops to grit his teeth. The part of him that was really angry is long gone now, replaced by guilt and a horrible pain in his chest. Reminding him that this-- _she's_ like this because of him. He was so damn stupid, so reckless and angry, he had no idea--

He still gets sick to his fucking stomach when he thinks about what she did to his sister. Even after all this time, Kuzuryuu isn't sure he'll ever forgive her completely.

Some part of him wonders if that's selfish.

He isn't in the state of mind to think about that right now.

There’s another pang of guilt as he passes by Saionji. But Kuzuryuu knows that if he’s going to stop and feel sorry for himself at the sight of every unconscious classmate, it’ll be years before he reaches her. But they’re still his classmates, the people who fucked up the world for everyone else. They’ll never be able to escape that responsibility, even if Enoshima was pulling the strings.

Saionji. Tanaka, Mioda, even fucking Komaeda. Tsumiki, the Imposter, Nidai. Maybe none of them were innocent, but they still should be here to create their future alongside them. But still, every time he passes them by, it reminds him of how much of a jackass he had been to all of them.

He’s also reminded of why he takes the long way every time he comes here, in spite of it all. One part of it is to look back on his classmates, sure. But the other part is that every time Kuzuryuu reaches her, he almost topples to the ground with nausea.

He swallows. Shuts his eyes tight to steel himself, shifts the weight in his hand a little. He won’t be a coward in front of Peko today.

He won’t be a coward, or show any sort of weakness, because there’s a small spark of hope in his chest telling him she could wake up any second now. No matter what the odds said. And if she does wake up, he doesn’t want the first thing she sees to be her master bawling like a baby.

Except he isn’t her master.

He never wanted to be her master.

All he wants is to see her one last time, _really see her._ He needs to see her open her eyes, help her out of that godforsaken pod and say he’s sorry, sorry for being so stupid and bullheaded and angry, he’d hold her close as long as she’d let him, sorry for never telling her how he felt, sorry for shoving her away all those years when he just wanted to tell her how he cared more about her than anyone else in his shitty life, and he bites down on his lower lip hard enough to draw blood because god _damnit _there's that telltale sting at the corners of his eyes and what did he just fucking say about weakness?__

__Say something._ _

__“Hey.”_ _

__Say something that doesn’t make you sound like an imbecile._ _

__“Hey...Peko.”_ _

__Quiet._ _

__Kuzuryuu finally opens his eyes, draws his gaze to her pale fingertips, her disheveled hair tumbling out of braids. But she’s older than before, they both are, more tired. There are lines across their faces from scars and from stress, stress kids shouldn’t have to face. Except neither of them were ever really kids to begin with._ _

__He adjusts his eyepatch._ _

__“It’s Christmas, so...I thought I’d stop by. See how you’re doing, I guess.”_ _

__Christmas was never a family affair. Too Western for most of the clan, and his parents were too busy trying to kill each other to do much shopping or bring home chicken, even if he didn't like the taste. Sometimes when they were little he and his sister would have their own Christmas together, take whatever money they could and give each other a holiday that would make any conservative family squirm._ _

__He’ll never forget the look on her face when she unwrapped a vintage Type 14 Nambu._ _

__“I...have something for you. A gift.”_ _

__He brings it out from behind his back. The look on his face when Naegi brought it back from the mainland must have been priceless. Fuzzy kitten shaped earmuffs, a little singed but still by-and-large functional, just like the ones he got Peko when they were young. She hadn’t really gotten them, because his father took her out that morning for weapons training and when he got to his room the earmuffs had disappeared without a trace, an unspoken message to not try that again, because they weren’t training Peko to _use_ a weapon, they were training Peko to _be_ a weapon._ _

__“It’s ridiculous. That whole fucking mess out there. There are people dying, getting shot, buildings burning and shit, and this thing made it through just fine?”_ _

__He scoffs. He doesn’t know why he keeps talking, but it feels right. As if one of these days, Peko is going to respond like nothing ever happened._ _

__Maybe he just wants to feel like the silence isn’t killing him inside._ _

__“I know you don’t need this stupid thing. A tool wouldn’t need gifts at all, right?” He looks down at the contented face of the cat on the earmuff. Pets it a little, partly to get reprieve from the cold glass surface of the pods and partly because Peko would do that, too. “Well, if it hasn’t stuck by now, I’m gonna say it again, alright?! You were never...a tool, Peko. Even if you wouldn’t need any presents, you deserve one.”_ _

__Kuzuryuu feels so monumentally worthless with this thing in his hand. He can’t lift up the glass to put it on her head without risking a lapse in the life support, if it would even fit. Hell, it doesn’t even drop below 18 Celsius on this island, let alone cold enough to warrant a pair of earmuffs if she somehow…_ _

__He sighs. “You deserve so much, and I never gave it to you. Not until it was too late.”_ _

__The earmuffs barely fit over his head, and Kuzuryuu’s positive he looks ridiculous. But for now, this will have to do. Until she can wear them herself._ _

__He thinks back to his classmates. Hinata and the others aren’t doing much to celebrate beside the basics. They’re out there on the island, busy working towards a better future, a future more hopeful than any of them ever knew before. So Kuzuryuu decides he’ll do exactly that._ _

__He sits by her side, mumbles something soft, and dreams of a future where she’s standing tall beside him._ _

**Author's Note:**

> happy holidays to tumblr user starfydusty!! 
> 
> this is my first time writing kuzuryuu so i wasn't very confident with regards to dialogue. i hope it's alright!


End file.
